literature

Finally

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Published: Aug 14, 2015

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Literature Text

Finally by J.A. Grier

I imagine I can fly,
for just a moment
hopping on one foot,
I leap and fall onto the air
my arms outstretched
Could I circle the moon?
Dip into the atmosphere
of sultry Venus, then
skip like a stone past
Jupiter, and through
Saturn’s icy halo? Just
once, I would like to
fly unfettered without
any kind of reality,
or bills or permission
of the laws of physics,
or someone’s kind of
approval. I want Neptune’s
blue cotton swirls in my
fingers. Moon dust
in my hair. Eyes rimmed
with ancient lava from
Mercury’s shores.
But I’ll skip Mars for now,
since I don’t need
the company of so
very, very many robots.

"Finally" © J.A. Grier. All Rights Reserved - You must get written permission from me if you wish to repost, reblog, or otherwise reproduce this work in part or in whole.

explore finally fly journey jupiter mars mercury planet poem poetry touch travel venus find

A somewhat humorous poem about wanting to touch the planets (with a bit of an in joke at the end about how much exploration there has been of Mars, and how perhaps other places are languishing ...)

If you are inclined to critique, as with theWrittenRevolution, (trade critique here for Blue Heaven) you might consider:
- Does the imagery work, or is some too common (i.e. Moon dust?)
- Are the line lengths appropriate, or does the rhythm seem too choppy?
- Does the poem end too abruptly? Does the ending work with the rest of the piece?
- Is the overall tone appropriate, or is it too whimsical? Does the subject matter work with this lighthearted approach?

If you like your writing on the weird side, maybe mixed with some sci-fi, humor, fantasy, horror, and even some of the strangely scientific, I'd be pleased if you'd follow my twitter [link] and blog [link] Thanks!